Parental alienation implies parental control over one parent by the other parent. This often targets the father’s in the relationship and it is usually used by the mother to cause the children to have more empathy toward her and disdain toward the father. It is also a way for the mother to devalue the father in the household and all the conflict is aimed toward the father. The goal of parental alienation is usually for the other parent to use the children to devalue the father. Sometimes the end goal is to achieve full custody; other times, it’s a power play.
The Effect of Parental Alienation on The Father
Whatever its objective, parental alienation makes the father feel a deep sense of loneliness and disconnection with the loss of family connection. This starts the trauma that awakens the deepest fears of the father. As a father, one of your main roles is to be a leader and protector of your family and now you feel like you are in exile and you are looked upon as the enemy. The men who used to be the head of the family structure is now being devalued and alienated so he feels like he no longer has a purpose in the family.
The difficult fact is that you still have to love your child in the same way even though these things are being done to you. There is also the physical withdrawal that leads to the pain of having to love people who no longer love you back. Children do it because they feel pressured by the other parent. If they don’t do it then they are seen as not loving that parent. A lot of fathers walk away from their families because of the mental stress. If you are mentally weak then you are more likely to make the decision to move on from your family because you do not want to deal with the stress while being in search of love and trying to reestablish a new family who would love you. You always feel torn between your current family that has alienated you and the possibility of a new family.
My Experience with Parental Alienation
From my experience with parental alienation, what I lost was my physical and mental health which was damaged from the stress and emotional pain. But I chose to stand firm and deal with the situation even though it cost me my physical and mental health. Imagine the pain of spending all this time with your child and all of a sudden your relationship with your family is broken because of lies? All the time you spent with your child could become meaningless. The truth no longer has a place in your household, and your child no longer has a healthy relationship with you as a father. The child can no longer say any nice things about what the father has done. The focus becomes only on the things that he did wrong in he child’s lifetime, even though the claims may not even be true. It becomes a household in which lies and betrayal are able to flourish and tarnish the relationship that once held the family together.
